Kalopsia
by Sickbanana
Summary: Teenagers and they're complicated lives.
1. Chapter 1

When I first met Edward Cullen I hated him.

Posh, stuck up, obviously made of money, pale as fuck and a big giant twat. It didn't hel p that he was with bella too.

He stank like manure and was ridiculously possessive. Did bella really need his permission to see me, his friend? She was a billion times safer with me than she was ever with with him.

But as time passed I also saw just how ugly a person bella was. Selfish was what defined her. Ignoring every single thing I ever told her, running back to him time and time again, wanting to be a vampire, all while never letting me go at the same time. It was crazy just how perfect they were for each other.

So you could guess I was quite surprised when I woke up one morning next to the goddamned bloodsucker.

With a thirst that hurt and a pounding in my head, I got out of the bed, and put some pants over my boxers (thnk god).

The fucker was pretending to be asleep. But id idnt really care about him. I eased open the bedroom door.

I was at the cullens. And I don't remember how the fuck I got there in the first place. I only remember getting really shitfaced at the announcement of ed and bells engagement with my bottle of jack daniels and nothing else. Feeling my pockets, I dug out my phone and checked myr recent texts.

_Hey So we're just getting together for an engagement party , I hope you've heard the news.  
Please come by if you're free. I would love to see you._

Bella. Xx

So wbhy did I wake up next to mr darcy instea of Bella?


	2. Chapter 2

I soon found my answer. In a tangled mess on the couch. A very naked Bella an some kid who ha a terrible goatee. Some fucking couple thery were. Announce their engagement then consequently cheat on the same night.

I wwas feeling extremely unnerved as to what happened between me and eddie last night. I healed rediciulously fasrt so I didn't fell anything. I just hope I did the penetrating.

I stripped naked and phased into wolf form. I phased back and dressed in some clothes I hid under a rock near la push. I went to the diner and asked Wendy, the waitres to order my usual. The breakfast platter. Long black with two sugars.

I was coming near graduaction right and I was getting worried cos obviously Im not getting into college so I needed fucking job that wasn't patrolling to forest as a giant dog.

Preferably a job that paid because I was broke as hell and you could only get so far leeching off a grumpy old guy in a wheelchair. I was getting desperate. Because having a perfect 8 pack isn't really resume worthy.

I asked wendy if she could get me a job when she fgot me my food. She said I could start on Monday, which was fantastic. Now I can afford to replace all of the clothes I rip phasing between wolf and hunk.

Eating my sausage from my fork, I thought about the 100+ year old Eddy Cullen. To be honest I oculd have at least took a picture of his fucking prick for blackmail reasons. Or for something to wank to. I mena come on he was hot as hell, despite the fact tha the spatrtkles in the sunlike like a fairy.

I wonder if bella and edaard will stsay engaged or if they will stay stupid. I didn't care. I need to graduate from high school. Regular attendacn ehelps,.

SO I decided since my high school took me off the school register due to my horrible attendance, I would transferr to forks high school. Fantastic idea. I'll tell billy as soon as I get home.

I finished my coffee, kissed wendy on the cheek and hijacked a motorcycle and drove as fast as I can home.


	3. Chapter 3

Billy thought I was I wasn't. SO I packed up all my belongings in a cloth like them hobos do and I phased into a wolf,andran to bellas house.

She was snorting cocain off her window sill. I didn't know she did drugs. Didn't think she was the type.

I called her from the lawn. " hey bella wat you up to!"

She yelled "fuck off Jacob!"

"how was your party last night?" I asked.

"Fantastic! I met the most awesome man and we're totallhy going out to the aquarium this Saturday. "

"what about Edward?" I yelled in replie.

"What the fuck about Edward!? Likegawd" she snorted. " I am so fuckign sick of that asshole. He is always making eveyrhting so har.d." she contytinued.

"Like marriage!? Wha the mhell man I just wanna be a vmpire an get fucking laiiiiiiiid." She went on. "That's rad as I a sooooooooooooooooo glad I met jimmy cos he is the bst thing ever."

Tehn I couldn't see bella anymore as she dropped from her window sil and later was unconciious when I went to check she was ok. But she wasn't cos the hossipital said she accidently snorted china white heroin instead of cocaine and was subsequently hospitalized. Poor bella.


	4. Chapter 4

I was on my fourth day working at the diner when I got the most unexpected text.

_hows the diner life babes?  
Eddy x0x0_

Neeles to say I was extremely perplexed and really turned on. I had to hide my stiffy so I worked behind the counter.

I replied

_boring as hell. Come make it better._

I was joking of course but the thought of him thinking of me turned me on so much it was hard to focus on work so I went to the storage room and jaked my self off. It didn't work because te minutes later I had a raging hard on due to his reply.

_of course pick you up after uour shift. Lookingforward to seeing yous sexy,_

The fact thagt he knew when I got off was proofthat he stlaked me too. I couldn't wait. Wendy couldn't wait either.

When seven oclock hit, I wen tootsie and I saw the classic silver Volvo that was Edward cullens.

He drove us to the nearest club and we got waiste on screwdrivers and grinded up on each other on the dance floor it was sexy as hell. After that he took me back to my place, and we took turns penetrating each other, I bet the whole neighbourhood heard our screams of pure pleasure.

I knew right then that I was in love.


End file.
